Purim: The Transformation of Queen Esther: The Unexpected Key to Self-Discovery

BS"D

I dedicate this Purim Torah though as a zechus for a blessed and speedy refuah sheleimah for Malka bas Sarah and David Tzvi Hersch ben Rochel.

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Don’t we all face times in our lives where we say, “My life is the biggest mystery”?  Usually our sentiments at these moments gravitate towards dejected.  “Life is a mystery.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m at a dead end; I don’t know how I got here and I am clueless as to how I’m going to get out.”  But don’t rush so fast!  Before you turn away - deeper into a maze of unforseen tricks twisting your path into greater chaos - contemplate that this very spot, where you seem so trapped, just might be your key to freedom.

Why does Hashem cause suffering?  It is a wake-up call that presses us to find the Emes (truth).  It cleanses us and elevates us, if only we choose to reframe it as an opportunity to do so.  Your pain isn’t worthless.  In fact, your struggle, and all the effort you invest into picking up the pieces, reaching higher and growing, is so precious to Hashem.  When a baby is learning how to walk, first he stands up with his father’s support, proceeds a few steps, and… falls down.  The father didn’t prevent his child from falling; in fact, he’s standing back a few feet away!  Was this cruel?  No, for this is the only way he can really strengthen his little one, and motivate him to walk on his own. You might call it call it “tough love.”  Sometimes we need a little, as it’s integral to our growth.  Hashem withheld children from many of our ancestors, in order that they reach the peak of sterling prayer, and rise higher in their holiness.  The Midrash enlightens us that the purpose of anti-semitism, is an indicator to us that we must strengthen our devotion to Torah, and to unite in greater solidarity in our unique identity and faith.  Although it sometimes defies our human understanding, G-d has a reason for everything He causes to pass, and every situation you find yourself in, be it light or dark, bitter or sweet, easy or rough, good or ‘bad.’

By chapter ten of Megillat Esther (the Scroll of Esther), King Achashverosh had passed Haman’s decree to annihilate every single Jew.  It was then that Mordechai, sage and leader of Persian Jewry at the time, urged Esther, captive queen of the Persian crown, to take action:  She needed to go to the king, reveal her Jewish identity which had been concealed up till now, and plead for mercy on behalf of her nation.  When she resisted such an idea - for various reasons, including that entering before the king unsummoned could cost her life - Mordechai pressed:

"כִּ֣י אִם־הַֽחֲרֵ֣שׁ תַּֽחֲרִ֘ישִׁי֘ בָּעֵ֣ת הַזֹּאת֒ רֶ֣וַח וְהַצָּלָ֞ה יַֽעֲמ֤וֹד לַיְּהוּדִים֙ מִמָּק֣וֹם אַחֵ֔ר וְאַ֥תְּ וּבֵֽית־אָבִ֖יךְ תֹּאבֵ֑דוּ וּמִ֣י יוֹדֵ֔עַ אִם־לְעֵ֣ת כָּזֹ֔את הִגַּ֖עַתְּ לַמַּלְכֽוּת:"

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and rescue will arise for the Jews from elsewhere, and you and your father's household will perish*; and who knows if for an hour like this you attained royalty?" {Verse 14}

Mordechai’s cry resounds throughout the millennia and generations, and is significant for every individual today.

Esther haMalka (Queen Esther), as she is famously known today, was born to a very different name: Hadassah, rooted in the Hebrew “hadas - myrtle.”  Hadassim are valued for their fragrance (on a side note: scent is the holiest of the five senses, Kabbalistically entwined with high spiritual planes) which is only tangible if the herbage is crushed.  She acquired the name Esther later on, when she “masteret - concealed” the facts of her Israelite identity and faith while subjected to palace life.  This is not just coincidence, for a name reflects a person’s essence and life-mission, and our historic Queen’s is a powerful example.  Hadassah would only fulfill the potential she was created to achieve when she was ‘crushed’ by her challenge - being forced to conceal herself.  Only then would her true self and deepest essence irradiate.

We all have our natural inclinations and struggles, large and small, to overcome in life.  The events of the Purim story appear to be very natural; an epic saga of human-directed intrigue, schemes and palatial affairs.  Interestingly, Hashem’s Name, is not mentioned even once in the Megillah, lending to its coincidental presentation.  Within ourselves, there is a raging battle between light and dark, the holy and unholy inclinations.  We strive for the G-dly element of our souls to take the reigns, so to speak, over our animal self… our “nature.”  The G-dly soul and animal soul were embodied by Esther, granddaughter of Jacob (also known as "Israel") and Haman, grandson of Amalek.  The tribe of Amalek, who the Torah commands us to eliminate, no longer exists physically, but its voice, influence and essence lingers within us.  With the power of Torah and holiness, Esther triumphed over Amalek in the past, and it is within our power to succeed again.

Although it is a veritable toil, we needn’t ever become heavy-hearted because of it, for it isn’t beyond our reach; Dovid haMelech (King David) exhorts us in his Sefer Tehillim (Psalms), “Ivdu es-Hashem biSimcha - Serve G-d with joy!”  ‘Tis the season, especially since “Mishenichnas Adar Marbim biSimcha - When Adar enters, we increase in joy.”  This is most surely the predominant theme of Purim.  How is it possible, though, to transform from sadness to joy, when they are polar opposites?  The Tanya teaches that you must first choose to redirect your atzvus (depression) as merirut (bitterness).  Bitterness, unlike stifling, unproductive depression, is stirringly emotional, a yearning for closeness with something higher, and to improve.  The hadas, myrtle, is well known for its bitter taste.  The Hadassa of our story - Esther - certainly cried bitter tears throughout her arduous circumstance, yet came through with flying colors, lifesaving results, eternal reward, and profound self-discovery.  When we break our personal “laws of nature” and redefine our limitations, the “real me” is revealed.  There is really no greater joy as when you shatter your prison and embrace the truth and light.

Nisyonos (challenges) are obscuring.  Miracles are often hidden, as is the one that’s your inner self.  It’s in your hands to transform the test into a revelation.  Indeed… “Mi yodeya - Who knows” if for just this challenge was the purpose of your creation?  Who knows if you were brought to this difficult spot for the miracle of transformation and positive growth, of yourself and beyond?  Every step of the way, always remember that when you’re crushed, your essence is bared in all its pristine, overwhelming power.  We, the daughters and sons of Hashem Malkeinu (G-d our King), Jewish royalty, are as the Esthers of today.

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May you all be blessed with only revealed miracles and good, strength and success, and a very Freilehen Purim/Purim Sameach/Happy Purim!  May we all be reunited once and forever in pure joy with the coming of Moshiach, may it be speedily in our days!

*(NOTE: Were you perhaps perplexed or caught off-guard by this rather harsh-sounding clause?  I certainly was.  I thank my dear teacher Mrs. Nechama Laber for inspiringly elucidating the solution for me just the following morning after my question was sparked.  In Jewish tradition, we believe in gilgul (reincarnation) of the soul.  If a person - or rather, a particular soul, did not fulfill its mission in this world during its lifetime, Hashem returns the soul to this world in a new life in another body, the vehicle through which it can make Tikkun (rectification) for its past shortcoming and be perfected.  The Benjaminite Queen Esther's overthrow of Haman, seed of the wicked Amalek who we are commanded to eliminate (please see here and here for Torah sources and clarification), was Tikkun for her grandfather's Shaul's error in allowing Agag (an Amalekite king) to live, against the explicit word of Hashem.  After Shaul's failure, responsibility for completion of the deed (to a certain degree) was entrusted to, for she was as his gilgul.  When we face struggles in life, and inquire "Why me?" it is empowering yet humbling to realize - on the flip side of the coin - it is not entirely about us.  It may also be the completion of a journey, and healing of the past.)

Look a Little Deeper: Lag ba'Omer and the Power of Visualization

BH

This post for today is a tribute to all mothers, and should be an elevation for the neshamas of our forbears, and the great Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai ZT"L.

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Last Thursday night, I was privileged to participate in the Jewish Girls Unite Mirror Reflections workshop for teens, and the focus of the evening, was discussion about, and exercising of, a very special tool...  The Power of Visualization.

Visualization is more than just closing your eyes and picturing something.  You stop and focus; you picture your movements; you imagine, on a deep level, what you will sense if you perform the imagined action.  This visualization enwraps your mind, stimulates your senses, and affects your feelings.  This tool, of visualization (also referred to as meditation), is even utilized by psychologists, to assist and uplift, and motivate their patients.

Kabbalah is a unique pillar of the Lag ba'Omer holiday.  Lag ba'Omer, is the yartzeit (Yiddish for the anniversary of a passing) of the renowned sage and mystic, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai.  On this day, before his passing, he bestowed upon the world a ground-breaking gift:  The Holy Zohar.  A Divine masterpiece of Kabbalah.  A treasury of Torah secrets that had never before been revealed to the world.

Kabbalah teaches, that everything that exists, is united by their essence, all derived from One True Source:  Hakadosh Baruch Hu.  Some mistakenly believe the misconception that the Holy and Divine, and our material, secular world, are two separate existences.  This is not so.  We always strive to attain kedusha, and it is said that Hashem desires to dwell in our world.  G-d's life-force sustains all beings and existences, not just plant, animal, and human, but truly, everything-- a hat, a rock, an idea.  Hashem invests His essence in every single thing,  If He didn't do this, every single thing as we know it would cease to exist.  G-d's energy is what keeps everything in existence. 

Hashem, from His deepest essence, to His powers and 'emotions' (or attributes) that emanate from it, that we know as the Sefiros, are present in every existence as sparks.  Sparks of G-dly light, and Divine energy and inspiration.  We can't physically observe these sparks, but we can perceive them in a deeper way.

Visualization is a very profound method, to help us perceive the Divine.  Take visualization of a piece of fruit, for example.  Picture the fruit in great detail, focus, and sense the smell, taste, feel.  Say the blessing, and bring G-d into the picture.  Reflect upon the beauty and holiness of the piece of fruit, and give Hashem a partnership in your action with your bracha.  Feel and envision...  you can now almost see the spark.  The spark of G-d.  Not a virtually visible flash or glimmer, but a spiritual one.

Practice this great power of visualization, and you will hone your sensitivity to truly sensing Him in all your life, and the tiny, faint spark will grow and grow, until it is like a large and thriving fire.  This is one idea of what Lag ba'Omer bonfires symbolize.  We must strengthen ourselves to visualize G-d in even the smallest and seemingly insignificant aspects of our lives, to carefully pick up the sparks, until they gather into a raging flame.  Hashem, and awareness of His presence, will then burn passionately and profoundly and clearly for us.

Mothers, or maternal mentors, are  key in teaching us this incredible tool.  They help us to visualize our futures, forge our paths, and achieve our goals.  They teach us to see Hashem in all of our lives.  They kindle our passions, and nurture our fires, to pursue our dreams and do what is right.  They keep those flames burning with life, and guide us in maintaining strong belief and recognition of Hashem throughout our days, and while we visualize, connecting to soul, self, and essence.

Thank you mothers.  Thank you for tending our fires.  We respect you greatly, and love you so much.

Parshat Va'eira: G-d As The Source Of All

BH

This week’s parsha post is dedicated in memory of Thalia Hakin, a young girl who was tragically killed by a reckless driver.  Although she is no longer dwelling with us in Olam Hazeh, she has not truly died.  She left a life behind, not only in the physical sense, but also as a legacy.  She brought light and life into the world with a few powerful words, expressed in a poem, about lighting Shabbos candles, and those very words are inspiring numerous individuals around the world today, individuals from all Jewish backgrounds alike.  I hope with all my heart and soul that these divrei Torah will be an elevation for her Neshama.  All dear readers, we are one big family, all of our souls are from the same Source,  and this is why we feel acute pain at learning of Thalia’s sad passing.  But as a family, we will stand strong together, and live for her!  Everyone can do something to elevate her Neshama, even in the smallest way, from davening in her memory, to giving a smile to someone else, along with a few pure, sincere words.

May it be an ilui neshama.

This week’s parsha opens with a supreme and holy scene:  G-d speaking with Moshe Rabbeinu.

“Vaydaber Elokim el-Moshe vayomer eilav Ani Hashem.  V’aira el-Avraham el-Yitzchak v’el-Yaakov b’Keil Shakkai ooShmi Hashem lo nodati lahem   —  G-d spoke to Moses and said to him: “I am the Lord.  I appeared to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob as Keil Shakkai, but I did not make Myself know to them by My name Hashem” (the four-letter Name yud and hei and vav and hei, which we’ll refer to as “Havayah” throughout the article).   (Shemos, 6:2-3)

Truly, we cannot name Hashem.  Hashem transcends all descriptions and names we may use.  No label can ever be put on Him.  However, the ‘names’ of G-d we use (and He has numerous) are simply how we refer to an aspect or action of Hashem we are trying to understand and communicate with.  (For example, Hashem’s name “Elokim”, reflects Hashem’s strict ‘side’, the part of Hashem Who may judge us severely [Elokim meaning “judges” when not referring to Hashem].)

The brilliant scholar and commentator, the Shadal expounds upon the verses, and the intriguing details by which Hashem revealed Himself to our forefathers:

 “The Avos knew Hashem as Keil Shakkai, the Almighty G-d, for this is the aspect in which He revealed Himself, and communicated with them.  They recognized Hashem, and especially connected to Him, in times of salvation, such as when Avraham went into battle against the four enemy kings; when He prevented Yitzchak from being sacrificed during the Akeida; and Yaakov when he lived in the treacherous Lavan’s house.  Keil Shakkai, is Hashem conducting salvations, and causing miracles to occur.  All their life, they understood Hashem’s goodness, and the truth and wisdom in everything He does.

But later on, the Bnei Yisroel, the descendants of the Avos, suffered greatly at the hands of the cruel Egyptians, and the barbarically difficult labor they enslaved them with.

Moshe asks Hashem, ‘Why have you let this people come to suffer?!’  Hashem answers him here, in the above verses, especially verse 2:  He responds “Ani Hashem – I am ‘Havayah'”.  And Hashem continues to explain:  ‘Why have I let My people suffer?  I have a pure and true reason for all of My doings.  This Name that I have revealed Myself to you by, my four-letter name Havayah, is a deeper reflection of My greater essence, even greater than Keil Shakkai as I revealed myself to your forefathers!  And from this four-letter name, emanates all that is to befall the universe, good and bad alike.  This is the true Me– I am the Source of everything!“

The Shadal explains further:

“Hashem told Moshe that His name, ‘Havayah’ connotes ‘One Who is true to fulfill His words’.  Hashem swore to the Avos that their children would not forever be enslaved, and that we will possess true freedom, in our own land.  That we would merit to be redeemed from our exile, once and for all.

The Avos didn’t know Hashem as ‘One Who is true to fulfill His words’, not because they didn’t have bitachon in Hashem, but because these promises weren’t fulfilled in their lifetimes.”

Maybe Hashem was giving Moshe an even deeper message, that we must delve even further into His explanations to find.  Maybe Hashem’s conversation with Moshe is crying out a message for us today:

To be truly free, and to merit geulah, we need to first understand that everything in life, comes from the same Ultimate Source.  Our greatest pains, sorrows, and nisyonos, are sent from the same place as the moments of our greatest joy.  It all comes from Hashem.

This is very inspiring, in light of the tragedy that has just occurred.  We have experienced great sorrow at Thalia’s untimely death.. but our greatest nechama is understanding it comes from the Single, Holy, Wise, and Loving Source.  Hashem will fulfill his promise to our forebears!  And at that time, when the Dawn of Moshiach Rises, we’ll be with our loved ones once again, and we will recognize Hashem, ‘Havayah’, in His greatest, most obvious essence.

(This article was posted to my original blog, on Jan. 26, 2017)